One month ago my beloved underwent surgery for a total knee replacement. This surgery happens so regularly nowadays that there are many, many people who have been down this road. His actual surgery went well but he had a couple of minor post-surgical complications which everyone assured us was ‘normal’ with ‘elderly’ patients. Just the same, complications are not normal when it is you and who ever thought that he was ‘elderly’? Not him and not me!
As with any experience we have learned a lot. For me, I have gained a whole new appreciation for care-givers. What a difficult road … dealing with the uncertainty, the lack of sleep, the worry, trying to be cheerful when really you are scared, the grief that comes with unavoidable change, etc. The stress for me was only over the course of a month. For some, this unsettling state, becomes a way of life and is never-ending.
Being a care-giver is humbling and it is hard work! It can also be a spiritually deepening experience. Over the last month, often when struggling with one situation or another, I had, rolling around in my mind, the words from the hymn, “kneels at the feet of his friends”. Indeed it became my theme song. Caregiving puts you on your knees in more ways than one.
I am very fortunate. We have family close by who were able to pitch in and help and we have lots of support in the community. Still, when it comes right down to it, often the one left to do the bulk of the work is the closest loved-one. I am blessed with a work situation that is somewhat flexible and team-mates and friends who could cover for me, sometimes with very short notice. I realize, yet again, how truly blessed I am. I was also left wondering how some people manage if they are in situations where they do not have an accommodating employer or family members who can help out.
It has been an interesting road and I will never consider the life of the care-giver in the same way. They are people who deserve enormous respect and support. God bless them.
