(Ir)Reverend Ramblings

“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;” Today is Earth Day, not only that, this is the 50th anniversary of Earth Day. 50 years of celebrating, recognizing, valuing, treasuring our Earth.

It has been said our perspective of the earth changed the first time we were able to see a photograph of it from space. That photograph shifted our understanding of what Earth looked like – a shimmering, blue marble suspended in space, with clouds drifting around it. It is hard to fathom, when looking at that photo, that I am standing here, a mere speck on the surface of that beautiful orb floating in the cosmos. The concept is, pardon the pun, otherworldly! And yet here I am and here you are and it is Earth Day.

I believe every faith, civilization and culture has a creation story as part of its library of origin. For those of us in the Judeo-Christian heritage, our sacred text begins with an accounting of creation. “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth …” Well known words, often intoned at services and sometimes even heard in movies and recordings. It speaks of God being in everything that is of the Earth. God as creator and all of creation infused with the blessing of God.

We don’t always treat the earth as if it is a godly place. But just for today – this Earth Day I challenge you to look outside, to look up to the sky, looking at the sky always expands our perspective. Look at a tree, study its opening in this season of Spring. Look at the dirt and remember that every square inch of dirt is filled with thousands of microbes. Scoop some water into your hand and remember that we cannot live more than a few days without water. If you can see a garden, check out what is sprouting there – a daffodil? a hyacinth? a crocus? Stop and listen to the sounds of nature – the wind moving, the birds chirping, the squirrels rustling in the leaves – all sounds of creation active and alive.

In “normal times” at this time of year I would make a sojourn to the farm where I grew up. My beloved and I would go often through the year, but we would definitely make a point of going in the spring when the water was high, to see if we could spot the salmon in the creek. They swim up a strenuous route to return to the place of their birth to lay their eggs. It is always amazing to see their fins flash in the sun as they navigate the shallow waters. As I can’t go to visit this year, I sent a message to my great-niece that I wanted her to walk to the creek and video the scene so I could enjoy virtually. There is something so restorative about nature which is why I think creation stories are at the beginning of every story. It connects us to the mystery of origin.

Happy Earth Day!

I can’t begin to put words around the senseless tragedy that happened yesterday in Nova Scotia; such shocking, seemingly random, violence. Words cannot begin to explain why such a thing would happen nor capture the deep sorrow and grief that has left in its wake. 17 people dead after a shooting rampage, in what is thought of as quiet, peaceful rural Nova Scotia. The worst mass shooting in Canada’s history.

What are our reactions to such a bizarre and deadly act? Shock – yes. Disbelief – yes. Sorrow – yes. Searching for answers – yes. During this Easter season we are called to focus on hope and life out of death but that does not mean we ignore our feelings or what is going on around us. Sometimes we must just sit with these feelings and work our way through them and end with the discipline to look for signs of hope even in the midst of sorrow and grief.

One of the painful heartbreaks of this time of ‘sheltering in’ is the inability to gather. This is true for all who have lost loved ones not only those most recently effected in this terrible tragedy. At the time of a death, when we are mourning, one of the most helpful actions we can take is to gather and share in the loss by sharing in ritual, telling stories, sharing in food, and just being together. The impact of Covid 19 is not only the loss of so much economically and socially but also that, in the midst of these losses, we have lost the opportunity to gather and support one another at the time of death. Covid 19 is robbing us of the opportunity to express our humanity one to another. This has effected many families and today it is magnified by the tragic loss of so many in Nova Scotia. So, we make do. We hear the reports through television, radio, newspaper and virtual media. Social media is a means to communicate with one another and while virtual gathering is not the same it is, at this time, the best offering we can give.

Light a candle, spend some time in quiet reflection, read scripture, read poetry, whatever you can and need to do to soothe your soul. And as always, look for signs of hope, focusing on goodness and resurrection.

As I talk to people on the phone or by email and text I am hearing that one of the greatest struggles with these days of isolation is … boredom. People are posting on Facebook how many jigsaw puzzles they have put together, how much baking they have done, or how many pairs of socks they have knit. But I am finding that the initial enthusiasm for doing these things is starting to wane and people are longing for wider activity and socializing. Of course we can’t do that. It is unwise and unsafe for our selves and others. So what to do in these days of isolation which is starting to feel more like captivity?

I have noticed a few things that are positive about this time and we need to look to the positives when we are feeling stuck. Terry Waite was the assistant to the Archbishop of Canterbury in the 1980’s. In that capacity, he traveled to Lebanon to try to secure the release of hostages, He was kidnapped and held as a hostage for 1763 days. In his darkened cell he would watch for the daylight to come under the crack of the door to keep track of the passing of time. In a recent comment he has said we should all stop complaining! Then he gave some advice. “First , change your mindset – you are not stuck at home you are safe at home. Second, keep your dignity – get out of your pyjamas. Third, form a structure for the day. Fourth, be grateful for what you have – shelter, home, possessions. Fifth, read and be creative.” Good sound advice and I would add one more, pray for others. In this time of sheltering-in it is easy to spiral into a place of thinking only of our self if we are not careful. My addition to the above is spend time each day praying for other people. This can help spring you out of the cycle of self only.

It has been pointed out to me, by a city dwelling, apartment dwelling, relative just how fortunate I am because I live in a house with a large enough lot that I can stroll around. I live on a quiet street where I can walk with a very low risk of running into someone else. I can stroll outside and see my hyacinths poking through and my daffodils valiantly trying to break into bloom despite the snow and wind that keeps returning.

The other thing I have noticed is how much people are going to church these days. Hear me out. No one is actually ‘going to church’ but because most churches, ourselves included are putting services on YouTube or their Websites, people can watch numerous church services. One person emailed me saying, “We couldn’t go to our church for the service but we sat in our living room and watched 4 church services.” No, I am not expecting this time of separation to bring about a religious revival (!) but it is interesting to me to see how those interested in church and religious types like me, are getting to experience, enjoy and learn from many different leaders in the faith.

For me – I have learned how to Zoom, figured out Netflix, have good cupboard and fridge inventory, am starting my second puzzle, listening to my third audio book, have several things crossed off my long-standing “To Do” list and yes, I do get out of my pyjamas every day … maybe not first thing but always by mid-afternoon!!!! And I keep in touch with friends and family and regularly offer prayer for the many people who are experiencing hardships through all this. And when I feel bored – I count my blessings and remember, as our Creed states, “We are not alone”.

It’s Tuesday – the Tuesday after Easter Monday. It’s the day of returning to the normal routine – whatever our new normal is! It is the day we return to sensible healthy eating after consuming all the chocolate and candy we could lay our hands on! It’s the day we put away our holiday anticipation and celebration and trudge into the work of this week. After all, Easter is over. Done. The bunny has been and gone. The candy wrappings bear witness to that. The lilies have put on their best showing and their fragile petals are browning at the edges. Easter is over … or is it? Certainly in our cultural experience it is over. The chocolate bunnies will all be on sale now. The decorations whisked away to get ready for … what is next? … Victoria Day? … gardening ?

For Christians, Easter is not just a day. In the church year it is a season that last for 50 days – until Pentecost, which this year will be on May 31st. This is the season we celebrate the Risen Christ and throughout the next 50 days, and beyond, we watch for signs of Christ’s appearing. Today, the Tuesday after Easter Monday, is really when the joy and celebration of Easter should settle in. If you read the scripture stories, it is in these early days after Christ’s crucifixion that the followers of Jesus began to adjust to the new normal of their day-to-day. The one they had hoped for, longed for, supported and celebrated, to their view was dead and gone. But something strange was happening for them, because, though they had seen him die now they saw him alive and in their midst. They had seen him crucified but here he was, encouraging them to eat, greeting them on their walks, joining them in their prayer time. They had to adjust all their thinking as to how they would live their lives, and practice their faith, going forward with this new reality of God’s presence in their lives.

In many ways the season of Easter could not come at a better time for us. When statistics of illness and death due to Covid19 overwhelm us and it feels more like Good Friday than Easter, when sorrow surrounds us and tears threaten to spill at any moment, when darkness seems more prevalent than light and as we seek shelter in our homes and consider the way forward, who better a companion than Christ? As we try to imagine how life will be for the next while, what better resource than the scriptures to guide us into new ways of living in community? As we read the stories of those early disciples of Jesus, who were flummoxed and afraid, hesitant and doubting, we are reminded that doubt and fear are just as much a part of the faith walk as is celebration and assurance.

The season of Easter reminds us that crucifixion and pandemics are balanced by life and love and songs of healing and hope. Resurrection is about change and challenge, new life and new ways of being. This hope for newness is what we need to hear and to remember in the midst of our pandemic fears and doubts. What the resurrection is really about, what the season of Easter is really about, is our connection with God throughout all things – life and death, illness and health, sorrow and joy, doubt and believing. Through all of this, God is with us. Happy Easter – again and again.

Many have said, “This is a different Easter.” or maybe, “This is like no other Easter ever experienced.” And yes, this is different than Easters we have known. This year there are no church services, no choir concerts, no large gatherings, no raucous Easter egg hunts, no new clothes, no hugs, no handshakes.

However, I wonder if this isn’t, in fact, more like the first Easter than we can imagine. As we sit alone in our homes, perhaps fearful, perhaps anxious, not only for the virus but for all that we have lost,I wonder if this isn’t more of what it felt like on that first Easter Day. Each account of the resurrection speaks of a sense of foreboding. It took some time for the story of the resurrection to be owned by the followers of Jesus. The two from the village of Emmaus were plodding home from Jerusalem. The disciples were huddled in their rooms. The Romans continued to be a very real threat to any of the Jesus followers. The first Easter was not what we have made it. To be sure those who experienced the risen Christ felt a charge of excitement and joy but it was heavily mingled with confusion, sorrow and doubt.

For all I have missed the music, the gathering, the joy, the celebration of Easter, I feel that we have been treated to an experience that could deepen our understanding of our faith story. We stand on this side of Easter and centuries of traditions have been layered on to the stark scripture story. This year has been a gift to us. It have stripped away the cultural layers and reduced us to the story. This Easter has reminded us of the core of the Easter story, that of Jesus relating to his followers, speaking to them singly, in couples, or in small groups, appearing to them with the reminder that God;s love is greater than anything that can happen to the human body.

We missed a lot this Easter but I think if we take stock we can safely say we gained more than we lost.

It is Holy Saturday. The day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The day of darkness, the day in between. It is the day between sorrow and triumph. Many of us live much of our lives in this in between time … between learning and doing, between illness and health, between happiness and sorrow, between waiting and doing. How are we sustained in the between times?

I am thinking today of Mary and Martha and the disciples, all those who followed Jesus, who ate meals with him, who listened to his stories, who walked with him to Jerusalem, who watched him on the cross, who spent the day after his crucifixion in sorrow and misunderstanding. I am thinking of their feelings of deep loss and anger and hurt and regret, all those feelings that come rushing up when a loved one dies. I am thinking of them waiting for life to return to normal, knowing that their normal would never be the same.

When someone dies it is hard to grasp hope and consolation. We feel at loose ends. We remember times long forgotten. We find it hard to trust what is real and what is in our imagining. We feel the physical impact of grief, a lump in our throat, a broken heart, a knot in our stomach. We aren’t sure what to do, we forget to eat until we are so hungry we eat quick and easy junk food and then feel worse for having done so. Instead of drinking water we resort to sugary drinks or alcohol that feel good at the moment but leave us feeling worse after. We grasp at “what if’s” and “if only’s”.

So today, this in between day, we need to take time, to be gentle with ourselves, to give time and space for all the loss we feel. And even in our not trusting we need to tell ourselves to trust. And even in our disconsolate mood we need to tell ourselves to hope. It is okay to enter into the grief of these in between times because we have a promise that is bigger than sorrow. We have a promise that we have a God who “makes all things new”. This is a God we can trust to bring a new dawn tomorrow.

Blessed Easter Saturday to you dear readers.

Yesterday we offered the second of our prerecorded video services… Palm Sunday by YouTube. Who ever could have predicted that? It has been a learning curve for me – although the words “learning curve” seems to have fallen into common usage these days and everybody is on one. Typically, I write my sermon on Saturday, after a week of cogitation. Now we are recording on Thursdays which means, like most of the rest of the population, often I have no idea what day of the week it is. To make our recording, I record in the church. I know many of my ministry colleagues are choosing to record at home but I like the comfort of the sanctuary and I think it offers a touchstone for the congregation. The Music Director, Mary Ruth, is there to press the start and stop button on the camera and then I do the same to record her as she plays the organ or piano, all the while respecting social distancing. Then, I send the recording to our Youth Leader who does magic and puts it all together and uploads it (whatever that means) so that anyone can see it.

We are a people who rely on an ancient book. We regularly read words written centuries ago. How interesting to think that those old, old stories are being told over a technology that no one could have imagined even a generation ago. But here is the good news. It is opening up the opportunity for people to worship in their homes, sitting in their lazy-boy chairs, sipping on their coffee. It is not the same, by any stretch, as going to church, but it is offering up new and interesting opportunities. Yesterday, after the service, I received messages and texts from two friends from Saskatchewan, from friends in various points in Ontario: Grimsby, Port Dover, Kingston, Port Hope, and our webmaster shared the link with her cousin in Australia so she could to check us out. I have heard from a couple of people I have not heard from in ages. This style of worship has opened up a whole new range of connectivity for people while we isolate at home. A seeming oxymoron. Several friends have told me that instead of going to church once, as they do on a ‘normal’ Sunday, they now sit in the living room and take in three or four services. While we have less church we are getting more! I too have watched services from several places in the country. It is interesting to see how others are projecting their ministry through this new style of community.

In our team Zoom meeting last week Mary Ruth mentioned that there is not one person on earth that has not been effected in someway by this virus. No one around the globe is exempt from the impact of this illness. Everyone is coping in their own way but Covid19 is here and there and everywhere. While that is a painful reality, there is a potential upside to this as well. Could this one thing that separates humanity in some way bring us together? While we all live in isolation could the virus reveal to us that we are connected through our very being as people? Could a sensitivity to others be an offshoot? An upside? Could we realize our vulnerability not as an individual but as one human being with others?

Is it possible this Holy Week that we see our separation as a bridge to being together in a new way? What a blessing that would be, arising from this virus that is here and there and everywhere, what drove us apart could bring us together.

When I say the word “leaders” – what do you think of? We have had leaders in our lives since childhood. Leaders in our school yard groupings, leaders of groups like Guides and Scouts, leaders in vocal choirs, leaders in our community. As adults we have been influenced and effected by leaders in our church, our community, our country and our world. We have all experienced and witnessed leadership and, truth be told, many of us have exercised leadership at one time or another in groups, teams, our church and our community.

I have never been active in politics. I admit I seldom go to all- candidates meetings. I do not put political signs on my lawn. I make every effort to be nonpartisan in my preaching. But, here in this blog I want to give a shout out to our political leaders. I have been so impressed and appreciative of our political leaders through this Covid19 pandemic. At every level of government they have been proactive and their speeches are reasoned, thoughtful, assuring while also presenting the potential strife that will result if we do not honour and respect the legislation. I say this for all the political leaders that effect and influence my life – whether I voted for them or not!

Leadership, in times of great challenge, can test the mettle of the most experienced political leader. We have been blessed through this time with calm, solid leadership. So here is my shout out to all those who have power and use it wisely. I am sure they have had sleepless nights and anxious times. I am sure there have been worried backroom conversations and disputes as to how to best move forward, but that is not shown to the public.

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday. Palm Sunday is the day when Christians remember Jesus entry into Jerusalem. He did so to lead his band of God-fearing followers to stand up against the power of the Romans who were oppressing his people. Jesus showed leadership to the highest degree possible. He encouraged his followers, and he challenged his followers, he took a stand, and despite doubts and sorrow he kept faith and led with bravery. Jesus’ story is testament that leadership is not easy but it is necessary. And it is life-changing.

So here’s a shout out to our leaders who offer words of strength and words of compassion and are stalwart, even in this challenging time. Thank you to each of them.

SGN – saw this on one of those many heartfelt and encouraging YouTube videos that are floating around Facebook these days. SGN stands for Some Good News. While we need to take seriously the global situation, we also need to look for, and celebrate, signs of good news. There are lots of great, heartening stories out there amidst the worry and fear. I have seen some SGN by just looking out my window and strolling around my yard. Are you ready for them? Here they are …

SGN – A pair of mourning doves have been swooning in and around my windows. They are clearly looking for a place to nest as they coo their mournful sound. Mr Cardinal, in his brilliant red, his comb neatly in place was playing peek-a-boo with his partner dressed in her muted browns. The blue jays with their usual brashness were careening through the pine trees. The birds are busy with the ‘birds and the bees’. The snow has receded to small humps here and there and the bulbs that I planted just before frost last fall are poking their noses through the ground and snow drops – a new addition to my garden this spring – are valiantly blooming.

SGN – People are finding ways to connect that they never imagined. Our Prayer Network met on Zoom this morning. The choir will have a hymn sing by Zoom on Thursday night. Our ministry team is planning our Palm Sunday service to upload to YouTube. The florist is still able to provide Palm branches as long as I pick them up from their front step. We are learning and doing things we never imagined possible even a month ago.

SGN – I am listening to CD’s I haven’t listened to for ages. Charlotte Church singing ‘Pia Jesu’. Barbara Streisand singing ‘Holy Ground’. Willie Nelson singing ‘Blue Spanish Eyes’. SO sentimental and heartening. I am watching YouTubes by creative talk show hosts and musicians offering their talents freely and gladly to cheer whoever might watch.

SGN – The amazing teams of medical front line workers, many with young children at home, who show up for work every day risking their own health for the well being of others. The grocery stores who quickly and efficiently installed plexiglass barriers for their staff and put tape on the floor to direct social distancing.

SGN – remembering the bible verse my mother would quote every year at this time of year … “For lo the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of the birds is come, and the voice of the turtle dove is heard in the land.” Song of Solomon 2:11

It is easy to feel down and overwhelmed and sometimes we just need to be attentive to see the slightest SGN. Go look … and let me know what you find …

I have had several responses to my blog of last Thursday when I admitted to having a bad day. Seems I am not alone … which I was pretty sure was the case. Many of us are having hard days as we struggling with something … anxiety … fear … loneliness … worry … or, as two readers pointed out to me … let’s call it what it is … GRIEF!

We are a people grieving all that we have lost. What have we lost? Community, connection, gathering, anticipated events, a feeling of safety and security, the privilege of travel, even the opportunity to eat out! We have lost the comfort of shaking hands, receiving and giving hugs, being with family, all lost. If you would allow me to speak personally, all of this community grief is added to my own grief that I am still working out, though my husband has been dead for over two years. These days at home have meant I have finally had time and opportunity to confront things I have put off or buried deep (pun intended) in my emotional storehouse.

Yesterday I cleaned out his desk – a task that was not pressing but needed to be done and, after watching several church services online, I had the time. Such sorrow arose as I sorted and discarded things he had tucked away in those desk drawers; notes, scraps of paper with phone numbers written on, and more boxes staples than anyone could use if they lived as long as Methuselah! Emotions arose and I realized I was crying not only for the sense of loneliness and isolation but for all those tears I had been able to hold back due to busyness and activity. This sabbath time of ‘sheltering in’ gives time for reflection and self-awareness but that is not always an easy road to walk.

As a community, whether it be our faith community, our town, our country, or our world, we are facing grief. I am grateful to the people who named it for me. When it has a name we can begin to understand it and live into it. Grief. We are grieving.

One friend sent me a link to a helpful article. As she said … this is a paraphrase of David Kessler’s work on grief. He is the world’s foremost expert on grief and he co-wrote with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross the book On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. His new book adds another stage to the process, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.  Check out this web link to read the article. https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR3yhMAvJYajTDQk9C3Th7fEgkmjGsB6oE5kLS-5BKPk18ZCpN2096pikH0

He explains in the article that we can continue through our grief after what had been described as the final step of Acceptance by going to the next step which is Finding Meaning noting that we want to find meaning, even in those darkest hours. He also says as we grieve our way through Covid19 we need to stock up on an extra measure of compassion both for others and for ourselves. I have had several people text me or email me saying they find themselves weeping and that feelings of unease and sorrow roll over them. All I can say is, this is normal, let the tears flow, as Kessler says in the article, emotion needs motion to process those deep feelings that we hold in check most of the time.

So, dear readers, let’s name it for what it is: grief. Let’s accept it for what it is: grief. Let’s own our grief and know that one day there will be meaning but “now we see in a mirror dimly”. The Gospel reading from the lectionary yesterday was the beautiful story of Jesus raising Lazarus. The story where it says, “Jesus wept.” This story is about many things but one thing is points to is that grief is okay, weeping is okay, sorrow is okay. We also can be assured that when the weeping is over we are more whole emotionally than before.

P.S. I got interrupted in my writing of this blog with the text that said baby Nancy and her mom Berivan are going home from the hospital. I dashed over for a “socially distanced” first peek at my namesake. What a wonderful antidote to the sorrow in the air these days.