(Ir)Reverend Ramblings

Yesterday we offered the second of our prerecorded video services… Palm Sunday by YouTube. Who ever could have predicted that? It has been a learning curve for me – although the words “learning curve” seems to have fallen into common usage these days and everybody is on one. Typically, I write my sermon on Saturday, after a week of cogitation. Now we are recording on Thursdays which means, like most of the rest of the population, often I have no idea what day of the week it is. To make our recording, I record in the church. I know many of my ministry colleagues are choosing to record at home but I like the comfort of the sanctuary and I think it offers a touchstone for the congregation. The Music Director, Mary Ruth, is there to press the start and stop button on the camera and then I do the same to record her as she plays the organ or piano, all the while respecting social distancing. Then, I send the recording to our Youth Leader who does magic and puts it all together and uploads it (whatever that means) so that anyone can see it.

We are a people who rely on an ancient book. We regularly read words written centuries ago. How interesting to think that those old, old stories are being told over a technology that no one could have imagined even a generation ago. But here is the good news. It is opening up the opportunity for people to worship in their homes, sitting in their lazy-boy chairs, sipping on their coffee. It is not the same, by any stretch, as going to church, but it is offering up new and interesting opportunities. Yesterday, after the service, I received messages and texts from two friends from Saskatchewan, from friends in various points in Ontario: Grimsby, Port Dover, Kingston, Port Hope, and our webmaster shared the link with her cousin in Australia so she could to check us out. I have heard from a couple of people I have not heard from in ages. This style of worship has opened up a whole new range of connectivity for people while we isolate at home. A seeming oxymoron. Several friends have told me that instead of going to church once, as they do on a ‘normal’ Sunday, they now sit in the living room and take in three or four services. While we have less church we are getting more! I too have watched services from several places in the country. It is interesting to see how others are projecting their ministry through this new style of community.

In our team Zoom meeting last week Mary Ruth mentioned that there is not one person on earth that has not been effected in someway by this virus. No one around the globe is exempt from the impact of this illness. Everyone is coping in their own way but Covid19 is here and there and everywhere. While that is a painful reality, there is a potential upside to this as well. Could this one thing that separates humanity in some way bring us together? While we all live in isolation could the virus reveal to us that we are connected through our very being as people? Could a sensitivity to others be an offshoot? An upside? Could we realize our vulnerability not as an individual but as one human being with others?

Is it possible this Holy Week that we see our separation as a bridge to being together in a new way? What a blessing that would be, arising from this virus that is here and there and everywhere, what drove us apart could bring us together.

When I say the word “leaders” – what do you think of? We have had leaders in our lives since childhood. Leaders in our school yard groupings, leaders of groups like Guides and Scouts, leaders in vocal choirs, leaders in our community. As adults we have been influenced and effected by leaders in our church, our community, our country and our world. We have all experienced and witnessed leadership and, truth be told, many of us have exercised leadership at one time or another in groups, teams, our church and our community.

I have never been active in politics. I admit I seldom go to all- candidates meetings. I do not put political signs on my lawn. I make every effort to be nonpartisan in my preaching. But, here in this blog I want to give a shout out to our political leaders. I have been so impressed and appreciative of our political leaders through this Covid19 pandemic. At every level of government they have been proactive and their speeches are reasoned, thoughtful, assuring while also presenting the potential strife that will result if we do not honour and respect the legislation. I say this for all the political leaders that effect and influence my life – whether I voted for them or not!

Leadership, in times of great challenge, can test the mettle of the most experienced political leader. We have been blessed through this time with calm, solid leadership. So here is my shout out to all those who have power and use it wisely. I am sure they have had sleepless nights and anxious times. I am sure there have been worried backroom conversations and disputes as to how to best move forward, but that is not shown to the public.

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday. Palm Sunday is the day when Christians remember Jesus entry into Jerusalem. He did so to lead his band of God-fearing followers to stand up against the power of the Romans who were oppressing his people. Jesus showed leadership to the highest degree possible. He encouraged his followers, and he challenged his followers, he took a stand, and despite doubts and sorrow he kept faith and led with bravery. Jesus’ story is testament that leadership is not easy but it is necessary. And it is life-changing.

So here’s a shout out to our leaders who offer words of strength and words of compassion and are stalwart, even in this challenging time. Thank you to each of them.

SGN – saw this on one of those many heartfelt and encouraging YouTube videos that are floating around Facebook these days. SGN stands for Some Good News. While we need to take seriously the global situation, we also need to look for, and celebrate, signs of good news. There are lots of great, heartening stories out there amidst the worry and fear. I have seen some SGN by just looking out my window and strolling around my yard. Are you ready for them? Here they are …

SGN – A pair of mourning doves have been swooning in and around my windows. They are clearly looking for a place to nest as they coo their mournful sound. Mr Cardinal, in his brilliant red, his comb neatly in place was playing peek-a-boo with his partner dressed in her muted browns. The blue jays with their usual brashness were careening through the pine trees. The birds are busy with the ‘birds and the bees’. The snow has receded to small humps here and there and the bulbs that I planted just before frost last fall are poking their noses through the ground and snow drops – a new addition to my garden this spring – are valiantly blooming.

SGN – People are finding ways to connect that they never imagined. Our Prayer Network met on Zoom this morning. The choir will have a hymn sing by Zoom on Thursday night. Our ministry team is planning our Palm Sunday service to upload to YouTube. The florist is still able to provide Palm branches as long as I pick them up from their front step. We are learning and doing things we never imagined possible even a month ago.

SGN – I am listening to CD’s I haven’t listened to for ages. Charlotte Church singing ‘Pia Jesu’. Barbara Streisand singing ‘Holy Ground’. Willie Nelson singing ‘Blue Spanish Eyes’. SO sentimental and heartening. I am watching YouTubes by creative talk show hosts and musicians offering their talents freely and gladly to cheer whoever might watch.

SGN – The amazing teams of medical front line workers, many with young children at home, who show up for work every day risking their own health for the well being of others. The grocery stores who quickly and efficiently installed plexiglass barriers for their staff and put tape on the floor to direct social distancing.

SGN – remembering the bible verse my mother would quote every year at this time of year … “For lo the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of the birds is come, and the voice of the turtle dove is heard in the land.” Song of Solomon 2:11

It is easy to feel down and overwhelmed and sometimes we just need to be attentive to see the slightest SGN. Go look … and let me know what you find …

I have had several responses to my blog of last Thursday when I admitted to having a bad day. Seems I am not alone … which I was pretty sure was the case. Many of us are having hard days as we struggling with something … anxiety … fear … loneliness … worry … or, as two readers pointed out to me … let’s call it what it is … GRIEF!

We are a people grieving all that we have lost. What have we lost? Community, connection, gathering, anticipated events, a feeling of safety and security, the privilege of travel, even the opportunity to eat out! We have lost the comfort of shaking hands, receiving and giving hugs, being with family, all lost. If you would allow me to speak personally, all of this community grief is added to my own grief that I am still working out, though my husband has been dead for over two years. These days at home have meant I have finally had time and opportunity to confront things I have put off or buried deep (pun intended) in my emotional storehouse.

Yesterday I cleaned out his desk – a task that was not pressing but needed to be done and, after watching several church services online, I had the time. Such sorrow arose as I sorted and discarded things he had tucked away in those desk drawers; notes, scraps of paper with phone numbers written on, and more boxes staples than anyone could use if they lived as long as Methuselah! Emotions arose and I realized I was crying not only for the sense of loneliness and isolation but for all those tears I had been able to hold back due to busyness and activity. This sabbath time of ‘sheltering in’ gives time for reflection and self-awareness but that is not always an easy road to walk.

As a community, whether it be our faith community, our town, our country, or our world, we are facing grief. I am grateful to the people who named it for me. When it has a name we can begin to understand it and live into it. Grief. We are grieving.

One friend sent me a link to a helpful article. As she said … this is a paraphrase of David Kessler’s work on grief. He is the world’s foremost expert on grief and he co-wrote with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross the book On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. His new book adds another stage to the process, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.  Check out this web link to read the article. https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR3yhMAvJYajTDQk9C3Th7fEgkmjGsB6oE5kLS-5BKPk18ZCpN2096pikH0

He explains in the article that we can continue through our grief after what had been described as the final step of Acceptance by going to the next step which is Finding Meaning noting that we want to find meaning, even in those darkest hours. He also says as we grieve our way through Covid19 we need to stock up on an extra measure of compassion both for others and for ourselves. I have had several people text me or email me saying they find themselves weeping and that feelings of unease and sorrow roll over them. All I can say is, this is normal, let the tears flow, as Kessler says in the article, emotion needs motion to process those deep feelings that we hold in check most of the time.

So, dear readers, let’s name it for what it is: grief. Let’s accept it for what it is: grief. Let’s own our grief and know that one day there will be meaning but “now we see in a mirror dimly”. The Gospel reading from the lectionary yesterday was the beautiful story of Jesus raising Lazarus. The story where it says, “Jesus wept.” This story is about many things but one thing is points to is that grief is okay, weeping is okay, sorrow is okay. We also can be assured that when the weeping is over we are more whole emotionally than before.

P.S. I got interrupted in my writing of this blog with the text that said baby Nancy and her mom Berivan are going home from the hospital. I dashed over for a “socially distanced” first peek at my namesake. What a wonderful antidote to the sorrow in the air these days.

It is hard during these days not to get too closed in, to worrying about my own well-being, my family, my friends, my community, when I think what I should be doing is opening up and thinking about the world. This is a Global pandemic no just in my little world but in the whole, great beg, world. I learned recently that 1/3 of the world’s population are in some kind of lock down. Think about that … 3 billion people are going through what we are going through. But many are not as fortunate as we are. Over 4 million Canadians have applied for Employment Insurance. In India they are rationing rice. In Italy so many have died they are having trouble disposing of the bodies.

I have committed today to thinking beyond myself, my family, my little community, my province, my country, my continent to consider the world. The whole wide, glorious, awesome, aching world. Do you remember singing that campfire song, “He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got whole round world in his hands…” It was a fun song to sing as kids and it has become my mantra for today.

The world is so vast but so small. Canadians, members of my own congregation, are in various parts of the world trying to, wondering if, they will get home in the near future. Planes that used to power through the sky in droves are now grounded. Ships that sailed the seas are docked. The world we experienced just weeks ago is now changed and completely different. And yet, and yet, there is a common humanity that links us. Neighbours are coming out to the front porch to check on one another and sing their national anthem. People are putting hearts and funny faces in windows for kids to spot on their walks. The initiative of banging pots and making noise to support health care workers that started in Italy has been picked up by many as the virus has spread globally. Musicians in all countries are offering concerts online from their homes. Late night talk show hosts are having their kids help with their productions filmed in their family rooms. And ministers are standing alone in their sanctuaries to videotape a service of hope to their congregations.

Years ago the World Council of Churches published these words… “The divine presence of the Spirit in creation binds us as human beings together with all created life. We are accountable before God in and to the community of life, an accountability which has been imaged in various ways: as servants, stewards and trustees, as tillers and keepers, as priests of creation, as nurturers, as co-creators. This requires attitudes of compassion and humility, respect and reverence.”

These words seem to ring so true today as we, a world wide community. work together to love the world back to health. Hold the world gently in your prayers tonight.

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was grumpy and irritable. Had there been anyone around, which of course there wasn’t due to social isolating, and had they looked at me in a certain way, I probably would have, as the saying goes, burst into tears. I am not sure why I was in such a sour mood but I was. I think it was a build up of the anxiety of so many changes and so much fear and worry. I like being with people (most of the time) and all this time away from people is getting to me. I have also been trying to “social distance” myself from the news as the endless repeating of the Covid19 fears can create even more anxiety. I know it is important to keep informed and connected but an endless diet can cause one to go into panic overload!

Last night I gave myself a firm talking to. I told myself that I needed to, as my father would have commanded, “straighten up”. So this morning, despite the gray skies and dreary weather, I was determined to find joy. I did not have to wait long as joy came to my phone with every chime of a new text. We have a new baby! Our Syrian family, Hassan and Berivan who arrived as refugees three years ago with young daughter Pella and who 1.5 years ago welcomed Canadian-born baby Fares today brought joy into our world with another family member. A beautiful baby girl born at 10:12 weighing in a 8 pounds. During this Covid19 pandemic we have joy in the form of a wee little girl. To add to my personal joy … they have named her … Nancy. What an incredible honour for me. I am beyond words as to how touched I am by this.

So despite the ever increasing bad news. Despite the overcast skies. Despite another day by myself with nowhere to go. Despite the lists of what I should be doing and no ambition to do them. We have joy – a new baby – a birth – life in the face of fear – love in the face of chaos.

So here is what I want you to do … first, straighten up … and then make a list of what is bringing you joy this day. Here is a start … shoots of green have pushed through in the garden in the spots where the snow has melted … phone calls and emails from those who check in to make sure I am okay … a brisk walk in fresh air … time to watch those tv shows I have pvr’d …YouTube videos that make me laugh … YouTube videos that bring tears to my eyes … listening to friends sermons as they post them online … seed and bulbs catalogs in my mailbox … poetry … the dedication of health care workers who show up for work despite the risk … grocery stores that go to extra measures to keep people safe … the cry of a newborn … add yours … what ‘s bringing you joy today?

A friend shared that these days of physical isolation are reminding his father of childhood days when the polio epidemic was raging. Between the years of 1949 and 1954 there were 11,000 Canadians paralyzed. The disease peaked in 1953 with 9000 cases and 500 deaths. Children could not interact. Beaches were closed. Families hunkered down to protect one another. A vaccine was developed and eventually the disease was brought under control by the early 1970’s and in 1994 Canada was declared polio free.

While World War 2 did not effect Canada directly with bombs and the destruction of buildings but there were limits on food, supplies were meager and there were governmental war measures. Family life was disrupted and community life changed. During that time, Leslie Weatherhead, the great British preacher of the early 20th century wrote to his congregation from the basement of another church because his beloved City Temple had been bombed. He wrote to remind them that the power of faith shines through and sustains us, if we are willing through every disaster that life can bring.

In these past two weeks our sense of community and what has felt normal has shifted dramatically but it is not new. People have faced challenge and tragedy as long as there have been people! We are in a new social experiment because of Covid 19 but it is not truly new to humanity. We have always had to face threat in one way or another. We, in fact, have more resources than any previous generation had, to respond to the current situation. Including advanced medical technology, communication systems and global interconnections.

I saw a post on one of the groups I follow on Facebook that said, “Those of us who have internet have gained a huge weight of privilege.” How very true. By connecting to one another – even by writing and/or reading this blog, we are building community and facing down the challenge of isolation in ways that those who do not have internet cannot experience.

People are responding to this social experiment in creative ways … online chats, video calls, but also by neighbourhood (from the front porch) sing-alongs and banging pots at a set hour to raise a ruckus in support of the many workers who must keep going. I have been thinking of the early Christian community who lived under the threat of Rome. How did they keep their faith in the face of loneliness, imprisonment and the threat of crucifixion? St. Paul wrote from his prison to the people of Philippi. Even though he was in prison, his letter is filled with the language of joy and rejoicing. One of my favourite passages of scripture comes from that very book of Philippians. I think it is a good one for these times of social experimenting. It is 4: 8 & 9, “Finally,beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things you have heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Hello dear friends in cyberspace. Here we are in the second week of “sheltering in” (which sounds so much nicer than “social isolating”) and I am wondering what are you missing the most? Is it seeing friends? Is it going to the movies? Is it eating out? Is it stopping while at the post office, or the drug store, for a chat with someone you bumped into? Is it giving a hug to your friend who just got back from winter vacation? Is it snuggling in with your grand kids to read a book? So many of the avenues of social interaction that we take for granted are now stopped. They are stopped for the good of all and we must comply. But we do miss things don’t we? So I decided this blog should be about what we are missing the most and what we could do about it.

Many of us have discovered the wonder of Zoom which gives the opportunity to “gather” while looking at your computer screen. It is like an updated version of the old tv show Hollywood Squares except the ones staring back at you are your friends, badly back lit and looking mildly confused. And of course, the telephone lines are busy and email inboxes are full. I gave in and signed up to Netflix to get caught up on some shows and movies that others have talked about but I have not seen. I have heard that, in lieu of eating out, people are trying new recipes and rather than go grocery shopping are using up the things stuffed in the freezer and those bits and pieces in the back of the cupboard. Creative ways with lentils!

I have been thinking how this time can also be used as Sabbath. What can we do with this gift of time that has come to us, unbidden and unexpected? Perhaps this is the day to read some poetry. You have always meant to do that haven’t you? Perhaps you could travel by using many of the opportunities online – you can tour the Smithsonian or the Louvre without leaving your chair. You could go on a scavenger hunt – make a list of things you want to spot while out walking and then go walking. Or, when you head out for your walk tuck a bag into your pocket and collect garbage as you go. Perhaps this evening you could sit and write a list of those effected by this unprecedented time of lay offs and job losses and then pray for those people who are perilously close to financial ruin. Think about the people in your network who are grieving and lonely and write them a note. And, my best advice for a true sabbath experience – take a nap. God rested and so should we.

This can be a trying time and I do not want to diminish that reality. It can be a frightening time and it can be a sorrowful time depending on our life circumstance. But we can also turn to our faith which calls us to enter into any experience with the confidence that we are held in God’s loving embrace. I can’t help but think that God has some fun even on the dark days. We should do our best to do that too. If you find yourself missing something then fill that space with reflection, meditation, prayer and take a walk!

There is much talk about distancing these days. We call it “social distancing”, but as one friend pointed out yesterday in a Zoom conversation, it is really more about physical distancing, than social distancing. Social media is alive and well and many people are connecting socially in ways they never have before.

I find myself in that category. I am constantly busy emailing, texting, messaging, face timing, phoning and yes, zooming, to connect and check in with people. A few years ago most of these words to describe communication didn’t even exist! They are proving to be fast and efficient ways to connect and check in with people and a wonderful resource at this time of physical distancing. Technology can be a handy thing in times like this. At the same time, I have become very aware of those folks who do not access communication in this way, people who don’t have computers or reliable internet service, people accustomed to verbal conversation. These days are very isolating for them because for them it is both physical distancing and social distancing.

I wonder if, once this is over, we will ever take for granted a handshake or a hug, a whisper in our ear, or a hand on our shoulder? I wonder if we will complain when we have to stand in a crowded room, or join a long lineup? Or, will we think back to these days when we have to stay in our own home away from everyone else? I wonder if we will take for granted a trip to the store and a chat with the clerk, a stop to get a haircut, or a visit to a friend in the hospital? I wonder if we will remember those who are lonely when we no longer are lonely? I wonder if we will think about families who are struggling with the same charitable feelings that we have for them during this crisis? I wonder if we will see travel for the true privilege that it is? Will we stand with compassion beside those who have lost their businesses and livelihoods? Will we reach out in kindness to those families whose dysfunction has overwhelmed them? There is much to wonder about.

Distancing, social or otherwise, is a catch phrase these days but will we learn to be better people because of it? Well, like the projection of the impact of this virus, that remains to be seen. Let’s hope we can all dig deep and learn something through our distancing.

Under the category of “who knew” … who knew a week ago that “flattening the curve” “pandemic” and “social distancing” would be part of our everyday vocabulary? Who knew that ‘snowbirds’ would be shortening their winter vacations to scuttle home to Canada? Who knew that public buildings would be shuttered and businesses would be threatened with collapse? Who knew that weddings, long in the planning, would be put off to a later date and funerals and memorials postponed indefinitely? Who knew that words like “unprecedented” would be on our lips with every conversation? It is a changing and unsettled world out there and it is like nothing we have seen before.

Everyday it feels like we are Alice travelling in Wonderland, astounded at what was happening around her. When she encountered the Mad Hatter he said, “It is a very strange place. You have to run very fast to stay in one place and to get somewhere you have to run even faster.” With every news cast it seems there are increasing restrictions as the rate of infection grows. We look to trusted news sources and feel confident they are giving us the accurate picture. But, then in conversation and through social media we hear frightening comments and, with every one of those comments, we are drawn into various possibilities even as we wonder about their veracity. Fact or fiction it feels like fear is at the door all the time.

In fear-filled days, when anxiety runs high, and fear fills our imagination we remember that “Fear not”, is an injunction that appears in the Bible over 100 times. God is always giving that message. Through the words of prophets, angels, and Jesus, over and over, God says, “Be not afraid.” But I am human enough to say, “Thanks God, but, that feels easier said than done.” Sometimes fear gets the better of people. And it can be fear about the strangest things … Just ask the people who have stocked up on toilet paper! I guess some solace is found in the fact that God has had to give that message over and over and over again and still, here we are, living with fear. So, I guess the other consolation from scripture, even when I am fearful, is to know I have that resource of scripture which speaks openly and honestly about the reality of fear and reminds us of the consolation that comes in the courage and strength of God. As the words of promise in our Creed states, “We are not alone.”

As many pundits, writers and Facebook users have encouraged, we can turn this time of slowing the pace : no shopping, no travelling, no parties, no shows, NO CHURCH! into a time of reflection and sabbath. This can, instead of being a time of fear and worry, be a time to relish those moments with family and, yes, I will say it, with God. Time to pray and contemplate, a time to offer to God our deep emotions and be open to God’s unending love.

Who knew … that Lent would be interrupted, or perhaps deepened, by a virus that caused us to stay home.