(Ir)Reverend Ramblings

It is hard during these days not to get too closed in, to worrying about my own well-being, my family, my friends, my community, when I think what I should be doing is opening up and thinking about the world. This is a Global pandemic no just in my little world but in the whole, great beg, world. I learned recently that 1/3 of the world’s population are in some kind of lock down. Think about that … 3 billion people are going through what we are going through. But many are not as fortunate as we are. Over 4 million Canadians have applied for Employment Insurance. In India they are rationing rice. In Italy so many have died they are having trouble disposing of the bodies.

I have committed today to thinking beyond myself, my family, my little community, my province, my country, my continent to consider the world. The whole wide, glorious, awesome, aching world. Do you remember singing that campfire song, “He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got whole round world in his hands…” It was a fun song to sing as kids and it has become my mantra for today.

The world is so vast but so small. Canadians, members of my own congregation, are in various parts of the world trying to, wondering if, they will get home in the near future. Planes that used to power through the sky in droves are now grounded. Ships that sailed the seas are docked. The world we experienced just weeks ago is now changed and completely different. And yet, and yet, there is a common humanity that links us. Neighbours are coming out to the front porch to check on one another and sing their national anthem. People are putting hearts and funny faces in windows for kids to spot on their walks. The initiative of banging pots and making noise to support health care workers that started in Italy has been picked up by many as the virus has spread globally. Musicians in all countries are offering concerts online from their homes. Late night talk show hosts are having their kids help with their productions filmed in their family rooms. And ministers are standing alone in their sanctuaries to videotape a service of hope to their congregations.

Years ago the World Council of Churches published these words… “The divine presence of the Spirit in creation binds us as human beings together with all created life. We are accountable before God in and to the community of life, an accountability which has been imaged in various ways: as servants, stewards and trustees, as tillers and keepers, as priests of creation, as nurturers, as co-creators. This requires attitudes of compassion and humility, respect and reverence.”

These words seem to ring so true today as we, a world wide community. work together to love the world back to health. Hold the world gently in your prayers tonight.

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was grumpy and irritable. Had there been anyone around, which of course there wasn’t due to social isolating, and had they looked at me in a certain way, I probably would have, as the saying goes, burst into tears. I am not sure why I was in such a sour mood but I was. I think it was a build up of the anxiety of so many changes and so much fear and worry. I like being with people (most of the time) and all this time away from people is getting to me. I have also been trying to “social distance” myself from the news as the endless repeating of the Covid19 fears can create even more anxiety. I know it is important to keep informed and connected but an endless diet can cause one to go into panic overload!

Last night I gave myself a firm talking to. I told myself that I needed to, as my father would have commanded, “straighten up”. So this morning, despite the gray skies and dreary weather, I was determined to find joy. I did not have to wait long as joy came to my phone with every chime of a new text. We have a new baby! Our Syrian family, Hassan and Berivan who arrived as refugees three years ago with young daughter Pella and who 1.5 years ago welcomed Canadian-born baby Fares today brought joy into our world with another family member. A beautiful baby girl born at 10:12 weighing in a 8 pounds. During this Covid19 pandemic we have joy in the form of a wee little girl. To add to my personal joy … they have named her … Nancy. What an incredible honour for me. I am beyond words as to how touched I am by this.

So despite the ever increasing bad news. Despite the overcast skies. Despite another day by myself with nowhere to go. Despite the lists of what I should be doing and no ambition to do them. We have joy – a new baby – a birth – life in the face of fear – love in the face of chaos.

So here is what I want you to do … first, straighten up … and then make a list of what is bringing you joy this day. Here is a start … shoots of green have pushed through in the garden in the spots where the snow has melted … phone calls and emails from those who check in to make sure I am okay … a brisk walk in fresh air … time to watch those tv shows I have pvr’d …YouTube videos that make me laugh … YouTube videos that bring tears to my eyes … listening to friends sermons as they post them online … seed and bulbs catalogs in my mailbox … poetry … the dedication of health care workers who show up for work despite the risk … grocery stores that go to extra measures to keep people safe … the cry of a newborn … add yours … what ‘s bringing you joy today?

A friend shared that these days of physical isolation are reminding his father of childhood days when the polio epidemic was raging. Between the years of 1949 and 1954 there were 11,000 Canadians paralyzed. The disease peaked in 1953 with 9000 cases and 500 deaths. Children could not interact. Beaches were closed. Families hunkered down to protect one another. A vaccine was developed and eventually the disease was brought under control by the early 1970’s and in 1994 Canada was declared polio free.

While World War 2 did not effect Canada directly with bombs and the destruction of buildings but there were limits on food, supplies were meager and there were governmental war measures. Family life was disrupted and community life changed. During that time, Leslie Weatherhead, the great British preacher of the early 20th century wrote to his congregation from the basement of another church because his beloved City Temple had been bombed. He wrote to remind them that the power of faith shines through and sustains us, if we are willing through every disaster that life can bring.

In these past two weeks our sense of community and what has felt normal has shifted dramatically but it is not new. People have faced challenge and tragedy as long as there have been people! We are in a new social experiment because of Covid 19 but it is not truly new to humanity. We have always had to face threat in one way or another. We, in fact, have more resources than any previous generation had, to respond to the current situation. Including advanced medical technology, communication systems and global interconnections.

I saw a post on one of the groups I follow on Facebook that said, “Those of us who have internet have gained a huge weight of privilege.” How very true. By connecting to one another – even by writing and/or reading this blog, we are building community and facing down the challenge of isolation in ways that those who do not have internet cannot experience.

People are responding to this social experiment in creative ways … online chats, video calls, but also by neighbourhood (from the front porch) sing-alongs and banging pots at a set hour to raise a ruckus in support of the many workers who must keep going. I have been thinking of the early Christian community who lived under the threat of Rome. How did they keep their faith in the face of loneliness, imprisonment and the threat of crucifixion? St. Paul wrote from his prison to the people of Philippi. Even though he was in prison, his letter is filled with the language of joy and rejoicing. One of my favourite passages of scripture comes from that very book of Philippians. I think it is a good one for these times of social experimenting. It is 4: 8 & 9, “Finally,beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things you have heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Hello dear friends in cyberspace. Here we are in the second week of “sheltering in” (which sounds so much nicer than “social isolating”) and I am wondering what are you missing the most? Is it seeing friends? Is it going to the movies? Is it eating out? Is it stopping while at the post office, or the drug store, for a chat with someone you bumped into? Is it giving a hug to your friend who just got back from winter vacation? Is it snuggling in with your grand kids to read a book? So many of the avenues of social interaction that we take for granted are now stopped. They are stopped for the good of all and we must comply. But we do miss things don’t we? So I decided this blog should be about what we are missing the most and what we could do about it.

Many of us have discovered the wonder of Zoom which gives the opportunity to “gather” while looking at your computer screen. It is like an updated version of the old tv show Hollywood Squares except the ones staring back at you are your friends, badly back lit and looking mildly confused. And of course, the telephone lines are busy and email inboxes are full. I gave in and signed up to Netflix to get caught up on some shows and movies that others have talked about but I have not seen. I have heard that, in lieu of eating out, people are trying new recipes and rather than go grocery shopping are using up the things stuffed in the freezer and those bits and pieces in the back of the cupboard. Creative ways with lentils!

I have been thinking how this time can also be used as Sabbath. What can we do with this gift of time that has come to us, unbidden and unexpected? Perhaps this is the day to read some poetry. You have always meant to do that haven’t you? Perhaps you could travel by using many of the opportunities online – you can tour the Smithsonian or the Louvre without leaving your chair. You could go on a scavenger hunt – make a list of things you want to spot while out walking and then go walking. Or, when you head out for your walk tuck a bag into your pocket and collect garbage as you go. Perhaps this evening you could sit and write a list of those effected by this unprecedented time of lay offs and job losses and then pray for those people who are perilously close to financial ruin. Think about the people in your network who are grieving and lonely and write them a note. And, my best advice for a true sabbath experience – take a nap. God rested and so should we.

This can be a trying time and I do not want to diminish that reality. It can be a frightening time and it can be a sorrowful time depending on our life circumstance. But we can also turn to our faith which calls us to enter into any experience with the confidence that we are held in God’s loving embrace. I can’t help but think that God has some fun even on the dark days. We should do our best to do that too. If you find yourself missing something then fill that space with reflection, meditation, prayer and take a walk!

There is much talk about distancing these days. We call it “social distancing”, but as one friend pointed out yesterday in a Zoom conversation, it is really more about physical distancing, than social distancing. Social media is alive and well and many people are connecting socially in ways they never have before.

I find myself in that category. I am constantly busy emailing, texting, messaging, face timing, phoning and yes, zooming, to connect and check in with people. A few years ago most of these words to describe communication didn’t even exist! They are proving to be fast and efficient ways to connect and check in with people and a wonderful resource at this time of physical distancing. Technology can be a handy thing in times like this. At the same time, I have become very aware of those folks who do not access communication in this way, people who don’t have computers or reliable internet service, people accustomed to verbal conversation. These days are very isolating for them because for them it is both physical distancing and social distancing.

I wonder if, once this is over, we will ever take for granted a handshake or a hug, a whisper in our ear, or a hand on our shoulder? I wonder if we will complain when we have to stand in a crowded room, or join a long lineup? Or, will we think back to these days when we have to stay in our own home away from everyone else? I wonder if we will take for granted a trip to the store and a chat with the clerk, a stop to get a haircut, or a visit to a friend in the hospital? I wonder if we will remember those who are lonely when we no longer are lonely? I wonder if we will think about families who are struggling with the same charitable feelings that we have for them during this crisis? I wonder if we will see travel for the true privilege that it is? Will we stand with compassion beside those who have lost their businesses and livelihoods? Will we reach out in kindness to those families whose dysfunction has overwhelmed them? There is much to wonder about.

Distancing, social or otherwise, is a catch phrase these days but will we learn to be better people because of it? Well, like the projection of the impact of this virus, that remains to be seen. Let’s hope we can all dig deep and learn something through our distancing.

Under the category of “who knew” … who knew a week ago that “flattening the curve” “pandemic” and “social distancing” would be part of our everyday vocabulary? Who knew that ‘snowbirds’ would be shortening their winter vacations to scuttle home to Canada? Who knew that public buildings would be shuttered and businesses would be threatened with collapse? Who knew that weddings, long in the planning, would be put off to a later date and funerals and memorials postponed indefinitely? Who knew that words like “unprecedented” would be on our lips with every conversation? It is a changing and unsettled world out there and it is like nothing we have seen before.

Everyday it feels like we are Alice travelling in Wonderland, astounded at what was happening around her. When she encountered the Mad Hatter he said, “It is a very strange place. You have to run very fast to stay in one place and to get somewhere you have to run even faster.” With every news cast it seems there are increasing restrictions as the rate of infection grows. We look to trusted news sources and feel confident they are giving us the accurate picture. But, then in conversation and through social media we hear frightening comments and, with every one of those comments, we are drawn into various possibilities even as we wonder about their veracity. Fact or fiction it feels like fear is at the door all the time.

In fear-filled days, when anxiety runs high, and fear fills our imagination we remember that “Fear not”, is an injunction that appears in the Bible over 100 times. God is always giving that message. Through the words of prophets, angels, and Jesus, over and over, God says, “Be not afraid.” But I am human enough to say, “Thanks God, but, that feels easier said than done.” Sometimes fear gets the better of people. And it can be fear about the strangest things … Just ask the people who have stocked up on toilet paper! I guess some solace is found in the fact that God has had to give that message over and over and over again and still, here we are, living with fear. So, I guess the other consolation from scripture, even when I am fearful, is to know I have that resource of scripture which speaks openly and honestly about the reality of fear and reminds us of the consolation that comes in the courage and strength of God. As the words of promise in our Creed states, “We are not alone.”

As many pundits, writers and Facebook users have encouraged, we can turn this time of slowing the pace : no shopping, no travelling, no parties, no shows, NO CHURCH! into a time of reflection and sabbath. This can, instead of being a time of fear and worry, be a time to relish those moments with family and, yes, I will say it, with God. Time to pray and contemplate, a time to offer to God our deep emotions and be open to God’s unending love.

Who knew … that Lent would be interrupted, or perhaps deepened, by a virus that caused us to stay home.

So, yesterday I wrote a blog about shifting the narrative. Believe me, I am working on that! The idea was prompted by a blog I read recently that a friend had posted on Facebook. It began, “I want to go to a dying church …” and proceeded to talk about the richness of congregational life even when many would point to those very elements as signs of failure.

Like many United Churches, our congregation lives faithfully but looks around to see mostly gray heads in the pews. We are grateful for the clutch of children and youth that gather each Sunday morning. We feel sorrow when someone leaves for one reason or another because we miss them and notice that they are gone. And we tire when we hear of the raging success of the evangelical church up the road that has a parking problem because so many people crowd their parking lot and clamour to get to their worship of rock music and “Bible-based preaching” (I put that in quotes because … well because most of my readers will understand that I don’t think much of that preaching is really in the spirit of the Bible …)

I think success is based on being faithful and keeping honest to our calling to follow Christ. Jesus did not preach prosperity and success by numbers. He talked about small things – leaven in a loaf, mustard seeds. He said, “When two or three are gathered…” Jesus did not talk about success in terms of numbers of souls saved or rich financial security he talked about reaching out to the ones on the margins and living a humble life.

The blog post, which was written by someone named Keith Lewis, says, “I want to go to a church that made hard choices” “I want to go to a church that chose love,”. “That’s what I want my children to learn about God.”

I don’t know who Keith Lewis is but I am grateful to him for expressing my deep held belief that it is too easy for church people to measure success based on popularity when we should be using faithfulness as our yardstick.

It may be that I just had my birthday. It may be that the winter seems unending. It may be that the news is wearing me down. It may be that my resolutions from January are long-forgotten and I feel caught in a cycle of incompetence. But I have been telling myself for the last few days that I need to change the narrative that keeps running through my head. Somehow I need to shift from grief to gratitude, from disappointment to delight, from duty to opportunity.

I am not sure how to do this but I feel like many aspects of my life need a shift from the negative to the positive. And it is not just me. I think our country needs a shift. The recent Teacher’s Strike has me down – tempers are heating up and respect is being jeopardized on every side – and there are several sides to the story. Likewise, the protesting regarding the construction on the Wet’suwet’en Territory feels like a long way from reconciliation. In each of these cases the arguments get reduced to money and costs and economy but the issue is much bigger and deeper than that. We need to shift the narrative. It is not just about money, there is a bigger story here.

I am trying to figure out how to shift my own narrative so I can’t begin to shift the province’s or the country’s. That takes the imagination of many and the concerted effort of all to make a difference. But I am still trying to figure out my own shifting and here is what I have come up with. Step back. Wait. Listen. Ponder. Purposefully say “no” to one narrative and “yes” to another. And do not letting another’s negativity prejudice my own thinking.

As a disciple of Christ I have a great role model. Jesus spent his life shifting the narrative. His many encounters, maybe even his every encounter, changed how people thought or acted. It wasn’t easy for him. He ran into conflict. He was doubted. He was laughed at. He made people angry. And when those things happened he went away to a quiet place and prayed to renew his strength. He was steadfast even when it wasn’t popular. I am committed to shifting my narrative and gratitude, delight and opportunity will be my way of being … as best I can.

This morning, as I drove to work, I listened to The Current on CBC radio. Host Matt Galloway was interviewing a salesman for private jets. The article was about the rise in the sale of private jets in the face of the climate crisis. There were many of things about the interview that were of great interest to me and I was astounded by some of the things I learned. (You can hear it on the podcast) But one phrase has stayed with me through the day. When asked why people feel the need to own their own jet the salesperson said that many of the wealthy who own these jets are very busy people and “owning their own jet helps them manufacture time”.

Wow, who knew that you could “manufacture time”? How does one go about “manufacturing time”? This is a remarkable achievement and I am surprised that it hasn’t been commercialized. I would love to have more time! Here it is nearing the end of the afternoon and I still have a lot of things on my ‘To Do List’. If only I could manufacture some more time and get these tasks crossed off.

Of course my reactive comments are said with tongue firmly in cheek! Ridiculous! You do not manufacture time, even if you are wealthy enough to own your own jet! No amount of money can buy you that ability. But it has left me pondering what is it about our culture that drives such a notion? Don’t worry, I am not being naive or insincere. I say this as I feel the pressure of that ‘To Do List’. I feel the pressure of too much to do and too little time just as much as anyone else. Why do I clog my life up with so many things that I can’t just breathe?

I know it is too late for New Year’s Resolution but here and now I am going to resolve to consider what the busy-ness is that keeps me running on the treadmill. I am going to check myself when I keep adding more things to my calendar. I am going to take some time and spend it with those people, doing those things that restore my soul.

As I write this I am remembering that often when the disciples were in a flap and went looking for Jesus because there were things to do and people to see, they often found him off by himself praying. That Jesus – what a role model! I am signing off and going home… to read a book …. to listen to music …. Ahhhh, I feel better already.

Yep, it is day 3 of the new year and I still feel sluggish, confused as to what day it is and, did I say, sluggish?. The socializing and eating marathon of the festive season has now pretty much passed. Perhaps there will be a few soirees this weekend for Epiphany but most people are taking down the decorations, throwing out the last of the leftovers and stowing away the new socks and sweaters. So how was your season? Did it meet your expectations? Did you sing every carol at least twice? Did you see every one you wanted to see? Did you avoid political arguments at the dinner table? Did you make resolutions?

As I lolled about during the days between Christmas and New Year’s Day I got to thinking about traditions. This is a season laden with tradition – some traditions spread across the cultures and come from ages of story telling and generations of repetition. In this I am thinking about exchanging gifts and family gathering. Other traditions are quite specific to each family. One family I know would always go to church on Christmas Eve and then go home and order in Chinese food. It seemed odd to me but that was their tradition. Some traditions are enduring – like singing carols and eating shortbread while others happen once but then are cemented into the family’s shared memory of “this is how we ALWAYS do Christmas”. Some we love, like decorating the tree and some are endured, like having turnip for Christmas dinner.

Whatever the tradition, it is a tradition because it brings echoes of years passed. Traditions stir memories of gatherings from the years gone by. Through those memories reverberates the voices of the elders and the ancestors. I think traditions are important – even ones we don’t like – because we need to feel that connection with history, specifically our history. Some how traditions and history root us. Roots keep us stable. Roots help us grow. This of course brings me to fresh starts and new life and the new year.

What’s up for you for 2020? What of 2019 will you carry with you? What will you drop to the wayside as you begin the new journey? Are you carrying good rich traditions or is it baggage that you can’t shake off? Any watershed moment is a good time for reflection and re-calibrating. Fresh start, new page, new chapter, uncharted waters … how ever you want to describe it – it is now and it is yours. May you be blessed with many opportunities.