(Ir)Reverend Ramblings

The world lost two very important people this week. People who transformed and inspired.

On Saturday morning, Rachel Held Evans died after a brief illness. She was 37. Despite her young age, she came to prominence as a formidable Christian writer and speaker. Having been raised in an evangelical Christian home, she spent much of her adult life challenging the harm fostered by conservative Christianity and she wrote, blogged and spoke of a Christianity that embraces ALL people. She insisted that God’s love included everyone and she offered those who had been shunned by the church (LGBTQ+, women, people of colour) a way to return. Her friend Jeff Chu said, “She saw the disconnect between so much of the church and what Jesus was saying.”

I quoted Rachel Held Evans on Sunday … “This is what the Kingdom of God is like: a bunch of outcasts and oddballs gathered at a table, not because they are rich or worthy or good, but because they are hungry, because they said yes. And there’s always room for more.”

What a breathtaking and heartening explanation of the church.

And then today the word came that Jean Vanier has died at age 90. He was a champion for people with disabilities. A Canadian, a follower of Jesus, a deeply committed and compassionate man, he helped improve conditions for the developmentally disabled in multiple countries. He established L’Arche in 1964 as an alternative housing and living environment to allow for those with developmental disabilities to live in community rather than as patients in an institution. L’Arche is now in 38 countries and homes are provided for thousands of people.

Jean Vanier came from a life of privilege. His father was the first French Canadian Governor General . Vanier was inspired by his Catholic faith but chose to not enter the priesthood but to follow a different calling. His leadership and influence, around the globe, looms large.

Two deaths, two Christians, two people from very different backgrounds, two passions that influenced people beyond counting, two different perspectives but two people who shaped the church and the culture in profound ways.

All one can say is, Thanks be to God.

Holy Saturday is always a quiet day. A day of reflection. A day between sorrow and joy. A day to await the resurrection. Let’s not rush from sorrow to joy. Let’s not hurry the unfolding of new life that takes place deep in an earthy grave. Let’s sit among the tombstones and wait.

At first it is almost imperceptible. Subtle. Muted. Slow. Gradual. And then is bursts. New life.

I learned a new word this week. Yugen. Yugen is an important concept in traditional Japanese aesthetics. It means, “A profound awareness of the universe that triggers feelings too deep and mysterious for words.” Yugen is very clearly about this world and this experience but the notion struck a chord with me as a Christian on this Easter weekend. The crucifixion and the resurrection trigger feelings too deep and mysterious for words.

I always find it hard to write the sermon for Easter Sunday. How do we describe the resurrection? How do we put words around the mystery of life from death? How do we make sense of something that is beyond our realm of daily experience? How to speak of something that is too deep and mysterious for words?

So today, this Holy Saturday, I wait for the surprising in-breaking of God’s new life in mine. I wait in the tomb of Holy Saturday until the angels call me to new life.

Maundy Thursday and Good Friday are not the banner days for church attendance like Christmas Eve and Easter morning. Maundy Thursday and Good Friday are hard and difficult days to face. They story is told of Jesus’ betrayal by a friend, the sham of a trial, the desertion of some his followers, the conspiring of leaders in politics and religion to get rid of him, and the changeable nature of mob mentality.

Maundy Thursday and Good Friday are two of my favourite services. Quiet and reflective, somber and meditative they lead us to places where depth of feeling, passion and grief can be released and held in the comfort of community and the love of God.

I often turn, on these days to the poetry of the late Ann Weems. She was a writer, speaker, liturgist and workshop leader. Her book of poetry, Kneeling in Jerusalem walks us through the season of Lent to the glory of Easter. I offer you now one of her poems for this Good Friday

Friday

The sky peels back to purple and thunder slap the thighs of heaven,

and all the tears of those who grieve

fly up to clouds and are released

and drench the earth.

The ones who see and hear know that all is lost.

The only one named Saviour died upon a cross.

The ones who believed and loved huddle together stunned.

All night long the angels weep.

I recently heard a Hollywood actor say that they decided their motto for 2019 will be to say “Yes” to more things. Now I don’t always hold up Hollywood actors as role models but I thought this was a pretty cool idea. Say “Yes” to more opportunities. Say “Yes” to more adventures. Say “Yes” to more possibilities. Just say, “Yes”.

I have been thinking a lot about this during this Holy Week as we walk the road with Jesus who said the ultimate “Yes”, even when he asked God to “let this cup pass”. I wonder how often we say “No” to things that could be life-changing … life-changing in a good way? I know I for one have held back at times. I am not a risk-taker and no one would describe me as daring. But I am dutiful and so when some things come along I do say “Yes” to those … if I think I should! But I think I need to stretch my wings and do a bit more “Yes” saying.

Sometimes the opportunities to say “Yes” feel more like disruptions to our plans. Disruptions that are met with a grumble and a groan and not a “Yes”. I am reminded of the quote from C.S.Lewis, “The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions are precisely one’s life.” Life brings interruptions that are really opportunities.

I wonder, this Holy Week, if Jesus felt ready to say “Yes”? I wonder if he felt his work was done and the time was right for “Yes”? I wonder if there were moments in the midst of that Thursday and Friday ordeal that he wavered in his “Yes”?

I know this line of thought is different than the Hollywood star who was really talking about things like skydiving and eating new foods but the opportunity to say “Yes” stretches from embracing a life that cherishes the environment, to following God’s call, to a new way of being. All this is saying “Yes” to that mystery and wonder we call God.

What’s coming your way? Can you say, “Yes”?

During this Lenten season about 20 of us have been working our way through Marjorie J. Thompson’s Lenten study, Forgiveness. It is a slim volume and the study guide is brief but it has fostered great discussion over the weeks. We have one more session together this Holy Week. Some participants have said this study could go on for a much longer time as it has taken us deep into self-reflection.

We have been surprised, with Marjorie’s leading, to realize how much forgiveness is dependent on self-awareness and self-reflection. It is in knowing ourselves and in understanding our own hurt that we can move to a place of forgiveness, whether it is to forgive our self or another.

I just finished watching a three-episode BBC production called Mrs. Wilson. It is based on the true life story of the main actor’s grandmother. This woman discovered, after her husband’s death, that he was married to two other women and had fathered several children other than her two. As she digs into the mystery of her husband’s past, trying to uncover the truth, she realizes that her marriage was based on lies and deception. She seeks counsel with her priest. She asks how she can forgive someone who wronged her so. He replies, “Understanding comes first, then forgiveness.”

Understanding is not always easy when hurts are deep and conflicts are complex. Our Lenten study has shown us that the road to forgiveness is not an easy stroll but an uphill climb with sometimes more than occasional setbacks. But we have agreed that the call to forgive is deep in our faith and teaching and so is something we must work toward. Even if it is hard.

In a few days we will read the passion of Jesus where, in the midst of painful crucifixion, he asks those tormenting him to be forgiven. What stalwart commitment to the way of unconditional love. His example of pure compassion is difficult to mirror but it is important that we try.

A few weeks ago, in my Sunday sermon, I used a word that was new to me, I used it because it seemed to fit what I was preaching on. It continues to be a word that resonates with me. “Coddiewomple”. Never heard of it? I am not surprised. It is an old English word that means, “going purposefully to an unknown destination”. I like that idea. Here I am, moving forward purposefully, even though I am not really sure where I am going to end up.

Coddiewomple has come to my mind again today as I prepare for the Congregation’s Annual Meeting to be held tomorrow. I am trying to anticipate what responses the various reports will inspire. I am trying to guess what some of the questions and concerns will be as we look back over the year just past. And, I am trying to imagine what the future will look like as we chart our course and look forward. I am guessing that it will feel a lot like coddiewompling. We know we are moving forward purposefully … but not absolutely certain where we will end up.

Does that sound like faith? Does faith mean we know where we are going? Or, does it mean we go, even while not knowing our absolute destination? I tend to think it is the later. As the old joke says, “If you want to make God laugh, tell God your plans.” Our certainty is that we journey in the companionship of Christ, we go with the hovering blessing of the Holy Spirit, but only God knows the destination! That is hard for those of us who like to have a plan with goals, objectives, benchmarks and checkpoints and to know what it is going to cost!

Congregational life, and, in fact ministry in general, requires a great deal of openness. Often I have thought of something that, in my mind would be brilliant, but, nope – not of interest. Then, an idea comes out of nowhere, and it excites and inspires people beyond imagining.

So, no matter what ever happens at the Annual Meeting I feel pretty sure we will continue to coddiwomple into the future doing ministry that surprises and is blessed and nurtured by the Holy Spirit.

P.S. – Thanks for your response to my last blog about prayer. I appreciated hearing from you.

Dear readers – how very sorry I am that I have taken an unannounced sabbatical from blogging. Do you find that sometimes life gets in the way? Such has been the case for me. Nothing unusual, a bit of a holiday, the usual house duties and work responsibilities and, perhaps the ennui that comes with February, have combined to make me negligent in my blogging duty. But I am here today and happy to reconnect.

What are the things that rise to the surface to share with you? Joys and Concerns and Prayers. These are three elements of every Sunday service here at the church. The congregation is invited, before the Prayers of the People to share the blessings and challenges of life in what we call “Joys and Concerns”, the people and situations named then become part of our prayer time. It can be a rich and celebratory time and also, sometimes, a sobering time as we hear the burdens and joys that colour people’s lives.

I think a lot about prayer. Why we do it. How we do it. When we do it. What it means. We have had two members of our congregation endure lengthy, invasive surgeries in the last month. Each time a Prayer Network has been established with someone dedicating 30 minutes of the day to pray with particular focus on the person having surgery. We have had enough people taking the 30 minute shift that the person has been held in prayer for the whole day. It has been a resource of strength and comfort for the person in surgery – knowing that she is held in prayer by her congregation. It has also been empowering for the people praying. It gives an avenue to support the individual while drawing on faith. It has been a gesture of kindness that carries the huge impact of prayer.

I have been a bit surprised at how readily people wanted to participate in the prayer network. It has touched people deeply in heart and spirit, both the ones praying and the ones being prayed for.

I am exploring ideas for ways to strengthen this ministry here and am curious to know what you do in your networks – church, community, family to hold one another in prayer. Is it organized? Formalized? Do you use specific prayer books? Do you sing a hymn while you pray? Please, let me know by comment below or private message how and when and where you pray for yourself or for others – I want to know. And, I promise it won’t be such a time gap until I blog again!

Today, January 30th, is “Let’s Talk” day, sponsored by Bell Canada. I have mixed feelings. What do you think about it all? According to the advertisements, if we do our part by talking and tweeting, Bell will contribute money to Mental Health. I know that mental health care needs all the dollars it can get. My ambivalence comes from the reality that we live in a country that brags about universal health care, while we know that this does not come close to adequate care for those who with mental health needs. How can it be universal if one whole sector of health is overlooked?

The publicity of this day may well help diffuse some of the stigma but, as one friend pointed out, do we only increase people’s vulnerability? If they share their mental health struggles, knowing there is not enough help to support their struggles, where does that leave them? How will their sharing be received? Might talking about their situation only make things worse for them with little aid to support them?

In my 39 years of ministry I know that the most difficult illnesses, for the patient and the family network, is the range of illness that impact our mental health. A few years ago we did a ‘Chat Room’ during the season of Lent. There were three evenings of presentations and conversations around mental illness. It was our most popular series and people still talk about it. Many who came were desperate to know how to help and support family and friends who suffer and struggle day by day.

I wonder what I can best do to support those who struggle with mental illness? I know offering a listening ear and companionship is often very valuable. Encouraging and supporting family members who sometimes bear the brunt of the pain is also important. Raising awareness whenever possible is critical too.

Each week at our Sunday morning services we have a time for ‘Joys and Concerns’. People are invited to share the things they are most grateful for and to name prayer requests for concerns they carry. Often we name physical illness … a cancer diagnosis, heart issues, but sometimes we remember to raise up concerns for those who struggle with schizophrenia, depression, addiction, anxiety and their related concerns. I am always grateful on those Sundays that someone has named the reality that many people silently live with. So I guess we should … talk.

There have been many very good movies this year and some that were excellent. I enjoyed The Upside. I thought Glenn Close gave a brilliant portrayal in The Wife. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper were outstanding in A Star is Born. The always lovable Ryan Gosling did a great turn in First Man. Mary Poppins was fun as was Mama Mia – Here We Go Again and Crazy Rich Asians was, well crazy! I missed some good ones like Bohemian Rhapsody but far and away my favourite for 2018 was The Green Book. I urged anyone who would listen to go and see it. It played for three weeks here in Bracebridge – that’s a long run for our little town.

The Green Book is based on the true story of pianist Dr. Don Shirley who took his trio to do a two month tour in the southern States, The Deep South, as he called it. On the surface of it that is not surprising. What made it surprising is that he was black and it was 1962. He needed a driver and protection and he hired Tony Lip – a tough-talking bouncer from The Bronx. The two were an unlikely pairing and their relationship was prickly and difficult for the first part of their trip. Over time they grew to appreciate each other and they built an unlikely friendship. According to the end notes they remained friends over the decades until their deaths.

There is much about The Green Book to take in. First the title refers to an actual book produced for ‘Negroes’ who needed to find a place to stay as they traveled in the States, especially in areas where they were not welcome. Dr. Shirley ran up against the prejudice and racism of the day and Tony Lip was made aware of the deep divide that separated black and white. As the story unfolded each man developed compassion and appreciation of the other.

There were some great lines in the movie. “Genius is not enough you also have to have courage.” “You never win with violence. You only win when you maintain your dignity.” “You can do better.” “It takes courage to change people’s hearts.” But I think my favourite quote comes late in the movie. Dr. Shirley had mentioned that he has a brother but they are estranged. Tony encourages him to reach out to his brother and Dr. Shirley replies, “He knows where to find me.” Big, rough, gruff Tony replies, “The world is full of lonely people afraid to make the first move.” There is a lot to unpack in that statement.

In January of 2017 Great Britain launched a commission on ways to combat loneliness. Recognizing it as a significant social problem Britain established a Ministry for Loneliness. The research leading up to this showed that more than 9 million people in Britain, around 14% of the population, often or always feel lonely. That is a lot of loneliness. I suspect the statistics are similar in Canada.

There were many social and cultural problems exposed in the movie The Green Book. I was not expecting loneliness to be one of them. It became apparent, as the tale unfolded, that while Dr. Shirley faced many challenges one of the big ones was feeling lonely, feeling like he did not fit in.

I like movies for many reasons, entertainment, education, but also when they leaves me thinking. That is why I liked The Green Book so much. It left me thinking about many things. If you haven’t seen it yet… grab some popcorn and watch it.

It is a full moon. The giant orb hangs in the sky like a white marble on a blue-black velvet backdrop. It casts a shimmering glow on the expanse of snow. It is beautiful, making a night that moves an artistic soul to painting a picture, writing a song, penning a poem. On night’s like this I remember the line from the romantic ballad, I’ll Be Seeing You. The line says, “I’ll be looking at the moon, but I’ll be seeing you.”

This week the wonderful American poet Mary Oliver died. She has penned volumes of beautiful poetry. Much of her writing focused on the beauty and wonder of creation. Her poems focused on things as small as a grasshopper and as grand as the landscape. She wrote so beautifully of nature in words simple and profound. In her poem, Wild Geese, she includes these words,

“Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things”

My mother and my husband were each able to recite poetry by memory. They grew up in eras when memorization was part of the school curriculum and learning to appreciate and memorize poetry was required. I wish my era had held such a standard. I cannot recite poetry even though bits and strands of poetic words come to me now and again. Mostly, I am moved when someone else shares the words written by a poetic soul.

In her poem, The Summer Day, Mary Oliver ends with this haunting and eternal question:

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”

Thank you, Mary, for spending your life by bringing the beauty and power of word and idea to us.