(Ir)Reverend Ramblings

This week began the trial of former, and now disgraced, Senator Mike Duffy. Well at least he should be disgraced. It is a court trial so we can expect that each side will point fingers, will diminish self-culpability, and will lay full blame on the other. There will be a parade of witnesses – all intelligent people, who get paid a lot and who should have either known better or been more careful.

The whole situation makes me feel a bit ill. I am not one to bash the Senate. I think that body does good work and many of the Senators are there to offer their work and effort for the good of Canada. But, as is inevitable, there are always “a few bad apples” who are there for the take. Mr. Duffy is just one who got caught (well along with a few others).

I don’t know how this trial will end up. I don’t know how the Prime Minister’s Office will get caught in the blame, but I do know there are a whole lot more who are guilty of bad behaviour than just Mr. Duffy. Nigel Wright, the Prime Minister, who knows who all was in on trying to cover up activities that they did not want the public to know about. What I do know is that Canadians are paying handsomely for the wrong-doing of a few.

In the end it doesn’t really matter to me who the finger points to. I don’t really care who, among the whole lot of them, is found guilty. They are all guilty in my books. Together they have once again tarnished any hope that people serve because they want to do an honest job. I am not naïve, I know there are always takers but this particular story shows that many were involved in criminal, that’s right criminal, behaviour and like school-yard bullies now they are just trying to blame someone else and get out of the line of fire.

Proverbs 10:9 says, Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. Guess the people involved should have read that verse!

Easter Day remains a collection of moments. My day began by arriving at the Park where our Sunrise service is held. A big full moon was hanging in the western sky while the first beams of sunlight were brightening the eastern sky. The men were already there with a coffee pot ready, sausages were on the barbeque and the scrambled eggs were cooking. Soon a crowd of 80 or so gathered and we broke the morning silence with “Christ is Risen. He is Risen indeed”. The sun came up in full glory as we sang “Morning Has Broken” After the service 65 of us chowed down on the hot cross buns made once again this year by the Wood family. The Olde Tyme Gospel Band played as we ate and the breakfast felt both festive and joyous.

Then it was back to the church. The sanctuary was festooned with multi-coloured flowers heralding the assurance “In the bulb there is a flower”. The choir outdid themselves and the hand bell choir rang in the celebration of Easter. The hymns were sung with enthusiasm. The children jumped with excitement – no doubt aided by the consumption of early morning Easter eggs!

My day finished with a lovely family dinner and visit with a granddaughter we see not often enough because she lives in Calgary and was, thankfully, visiting Ontario for the weekend.

What do these Easter moments mean to me two days later as we live into the Easter season? They mean community, they mean music to lift the soul, they mean the reality of Jesus in the breaking of bread. Easter is about God coming into life in such a profound way that life is never the same again. Easter is about the sun chasing away the darkness. Easter is about joy breaking through grief. Easter is about love. Yes, that is what the moments of Easter really mean to me. They mean love. Love of God, love of neighbour, love of the Christ, love of life. Hallelujah!

We are in the midst of the Holy Weekend. Last night a small group gathered to mark Maundy Thursday. Maundy, from the latin mandatum the first word in “A new commandment I give that you love one another.” This passage is read each year on the night before Good Friday, the night we remember Jesus gathering with the disciples in an upper room to have the passover meal together. The night we remember Jesus washing the feet of his disiples. The night he gave a lesson in being a servant.
This morning we gathered in the sanctuary to hear the story of Jesus crucifixion. Now we wait. We wait as his followers did. We wait to see what will happen after such a tragedy. We wait to see just what God will do. Sunday morning we will sing our Hallelujahs as we celebrate that God has given us a great new day, a day when tragedy is turned to rejoicing, a day of new life, a day of renewal.
These days we need to see God working miracles. There is much tragedy in our world and so an equal amount of resurrection is needed. Sometimes we have to look close to spot it. Sometimes is takes a while to see it but when we take the time to notice we see that God is working goodness and bringing about new life.
May this time of waiting heighten your joy when you see God’s inbreaking love at work.

Dear readers, I have pondered how to approach this blog about the tragic plane crash of Germanwings flight 9525 in France. As the news story has unfolded reports become more pointed in detailing that the young co-pilot lived with a mental illness and it seems he may have decided, in his ill state, that crashing the plane was his only option. The story is devastating. So much loss, complicated by a difficult investigation and recovery, due to its location and so many unanswered questions.
I have been impressed by the balanced reporting, for the most part. It seems to me that in some ways there is a shift in our world in the understanding of mental illness. Oh, don’t get me wrong, we still have a long, long way to go but the very fact that the air industry and the public at large are facing the challenges of illness and its greater impact makes me think that we have made some progress. This was indicated when a father of one of the deceased passengers stood near the crash site and said he did not want to hear recriminations, that would serve no purpose, he only wanted people to move forward so that such a thing could not happen again.
The fact that such an attitude is held up during this week, which we Christians call Holy Week, is serendipitous. As followers of Christ we will spend the next few days trying to understand how devastating loss can bring forth good news. We will look for signs of resurrection in the midst of crucifixion. We will struggle to understand how tragedy can bring redemption. May the universal struggle, that we live in Holy Week, be an overlay for those recovery from the tragic loss of this horrific plane crash.

Today is the day we turn from winter to spring! Despite the blanket of snow that still covers much of our landscape and the weather prediction that up to 7 cms. of snow might fall overnight; our spinning planet rotates us into a new season this evening at 6:45.

I must admit that the season makes a difference to my mood. The lengthening days and the warmth of the sun puts me into a different place emotionally and spiritually. I love the season of winter but as March marches on I am ready for SPRING! There is something about waking to the sound of bird song and feeling the earth and trees pulse with energy that lifts the spirit. The poet who wrote so beautifully in our Bible’s The Song of Solomon put it best with “For lo the winter is past, the rain is over and gone and the sound of the turtle dove is heard in the land.”

This Sunday, even though there is still ample evidence of winter we will sing, Fairest Lord Jesus with the wonderful line, “Fair are the meadows, fairer still the woodlands, robed in the blooming garb of spring;”. What are some of the signs of spring you look for? People on Facebook have reported sighting the first robin. Others say, “The crows have returned.” Some look for the first sign of green in the buds on the trees. Of course, those who tap the trees are out collecting the maple syrup. And one person noted, “I smelled a skunk!”

How will you welcome the spring solstice? Does it feel like spring to you yet? What do you appreciate the most about this new season?

Last night was the second of our three-evening seminars on Mental Health. The topic was suicide. The topic was painful. The topic was heavy. But in the end there was hope. We had three people share their story. One was a grandmother who lost a grandson to suicide. The other two stories were shared by young men who had each attempted suicide and survived. They talked about their experience, how it has effected them and what it means to still be alive.

The room was filled with 50 people. Many came with their own stories of suicide, stories of their own attempts or the attempt or death of a loved one through suicide. It is such a tender place and such holy ground to face such deep grief. As difficult as it was for people I think the evening provided both solace and comfort. For one, people learned they are not alone, in fact many, many homes are touched by death this way. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health reports that suicide is deadlier than car accidents. While approximately 2500 Canadians will die each year from motor-vehicle related accidents approximately 4000 Canadians die annually from suicide.

We learned about language. It is not helpful to talk about “committing” suicide in the same way people “commit” a crime. People “die” by suicide. We learned that when we have concern for someone we should ask outright are you considering killing yourself? Often for the person it is a huge relief to have their intentions identified and to be able to talk about it. We learned that it is not helpful to make the person feel guilt or shame but to stand by them, support them and reassure him or her that we love them. We also learned that places of employment can be a huge support when they take the person’s mental illness as seriously as they take a person’s physical illness. An employer that holds a job for a person needing time off to get well due to mental illness is providing a huge avenue of hope for the patient. We also learned that sometimes when a person dies from suicide we will never ever know the reason nor understand what happened or why and, as hard as it is, we just have to live with that unknowing.

For our community of faith these conversations have shifted something for us. It has made us aware of each other’s vulnerability. It has opened doors for conversation and helped us drop that façade that we are all “doing fine” and face the reality that many of us live with painful stories of brokenness but we are still okay. It has helped our community become authentic in sharing and caring. And that is a good thing.

A few years ago our church Book Club read Lisa Genova’s powerful book Still Alice. It is the story of a highly educated and successful woman, a professor at Harvard, losing her thoughts and memories to Alzheimer’s disease. The book has now been made into a movie staring Julianne Moore as Alice and Alec Baldwin as her husband. I saw it last weekend. It is an excellent movie, quite faithful to the novel and Julianne Moore is quite deserving of the Oscar she won for her performance.

I have mentioned the movie to a few people and some say they can’t go and haven’t read the book because it is just too painful and strikes too close to home. Many families are feeling the impact of the disease. I looked up some facts on the Alzheimers web site. Approximately 15% of Canadians over the age of 65 are living with some kind of cognitive impairment including dementia. (2011 Statistics) This means that one in five Canadians over the age of 45 provide some form of care to seniors living with long-term health problems and one quarter of those caregivers are seniors themselves, a third of them over the age of 75. In 2011 family caregivers spent in excess of 444 million unpaid hours looking after someone with cognitive impairment, including dementia. This represents $11 billion in lost income and 227,760 full-time equivalent employees in the workforce. These figures are staggering, especially when we consider that our population is aging as the ‘Baby Boom” works its way through our society. (The first wave of the baby boomers turned 65 in 2011.) These numbers will only increase over the next few decades. As of 2013 more than 4.4 million people worldwide are living with dementia, or more that the total population of Canada.

In the novel and movie Alice, a fiercely independent woman struggles to maintain her lifestyle and live in the moment, even as her abilities are stripped away. Her family feels the stress of adjustment as this once able and in-control woman changes before their eyes. Each reacts in his or her own way and the fictional story presents both disappointment and hope. It is not an easy story to watch; in many homes it is not a story but a reality. It makes me wonder what role the church can play in supporting families and in providing a place of healing and care for those who face the dramatic changes from who they were to who they are becoming.

Has your family been effected by Alzheimer’s Disease? Do you see a role the church could play?

I need to begin this blog by telling you that the dear friend that I wrote of last Friday died on Saturday evening. We knew this was the inevitable outcome of her disease but it came sooner than I expected. When the dreaded phone call came Saturday night I was overcome with grief and the cloud has stayed with me this week. My belief is that God holds her in that mystery we call eternal life and for that I am grateful but my reality is that she is gone from me and for that I am sad. My mind has been filled with memories.

She died the best possible death. She was at home, family and friends visited through the day, her favourite music was playing and her husband and daughters were with her. Who could ask for a better passing than that?

Today is St. Patrick’s day. We had our Irish Dinner on Sunday night and I offered a few toasts. Many of them were silly and fun like “May your glass be ever full, the roof over your head be ever strong and may you be in heaven a half-an-hour before the devil knows your dead!” or “May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and the road downhill all the way to your door.” But for you today I offer the more familiar and the one we call ‘The Irish Blessing’
“May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm on your face and
The rain fall soft on your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.”

May you feel a blessing today and always remember that life is short and tenuous so treasure each moment you are given.

A very dear friend of mine is slowly succumbing to the ravages of a disease that has stripped her of most of her physical ability. While cognitively she is as aware as ever her body is letting her down. She can only walk, well shuffle really, when she is held up as her balance is not stable. Her voice has diminished to a whisper and the threat of choking has made eating and swallowing a fearful activity. Through all this her husband has been her advocate, nurse, and best friend.

We visited them when I was off last week and it makes me weep to think of the profound love that flows between them. He never lets her out of his sight and he seems to anticipate her need when she barely signals to him. Best of all he can still make her laugh and so, although her voice comes out as a whisper, he can tell a corny joke and her chuckle is rich and deep. She has always been his best audience and this continues.

Her family and circle of friends see that time is precious. She has a large support network of people that love her but her husband’s love for her surpasses all.

When couples take their marriage vows they generally say words, if not the traditional, “To have and to hold, from this day forward for better and worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow till death us do part”, then words to that effect. Few of us, on our wedding day, think as to how those words might be tested. I know this couple, like all of us hoped for a long and rich life where they would be together to old age. Life has handed them a different plan but they are keeping their vows, especially the “in sickness” part. I love them both for who they are and I love them more for how they are coping with this dreadful disease. They are models to me of grace and dignity and steadfast love.

Do you have people in your life who have modelled devotion and care?

“Come on, do it, what are you a sacredy-cat?” Do you remember that taunt from childhood? It came to mind the other day when I read a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. Apparently she said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Now I am not a huge risk taker, in fact I lead a pretty cautious life, and sometimes I wonder what I have missed out on because I like to play it safe.

Last night at our Mental Health Seminar on depression (which was excellent by the way) one of the speakers, who lives with the diagnosis of bi-polar, said when she is in her manic phase she can be at her most creative partly because she is willing to take risks that she might otherwise not. She said, “It doesn’t always work out well but lots of times it does!”

The stories of Lent follow Jesus through the last weeks of his life. He was a risk-taker. He took risks, not for the adrenaline rush, or for the high, but to stand up to injustice and for the benefit of others. I can only imagine that as he faced down his detractors there were times when he was scared, really scared, but the cause of justice and his love of God enabled him to do it.

I think I need to do something today that scares me. I am just not sure what it will be. But I am feeling like a little risk-taking is what I need.

How about you? What are you scared of? Can you take the risk?