When This is All Over

I have had several conversations this week, on Zoom and, the old fashioned way, on the telephone. It is almost inevitable that at some point the conversation turns to, “When this is all over…”. Of course, no one knows when that will be, but already many are considering what impact this time of ‘sheltering in’ will have on how we proceed in social gatherings, church services, public activities, and even family events. Will we continue to shake hands as a greeting? In church, will we pass the offering plate? Will we be uncomfortable sitting right beside someone at the theatre? What will travel look like? I think it is generally agreed that when we return to what will be our ‘new normal’ it will take some time to get over this period of separation and isolation. I am not sure we will emerge from this time without some long term impact.

These days we can wear our pyjamas all day and we don’t even have to comb our hair because we know no one is going to come to our door. We don’t have to make those return dinner invitations. There is no need to attend those … weddings … parties …. social events that make us roll our eyes.We don’t have to engage in long conversations at the grocery store. We don’t have to hug people, especially those that make us feel uncomfortable. For some people this is a huge relief. For others it is the most difficult part of this at home life.

These weeks with little social contact have given people hours of times for self-reflection. For some this has allowed for personal insight and revelation. For others, it is has triggered grief, anxiety and depression. I have given some thought to the way anxiety rises in us. Some people have commented that they are anxious because they are feeling locked in and cut off. Others have said that they now feel anxiety when they go out, having been enveloped in their home, it has become a place of safety and security. Now, leaving home makes them anxious. Some have talked about family dynamics and how the stress of being together all the time has made for challenging times. Some have talked about moments of frustration and being close to tears for no reason while others have confessed to ranting at the least provocation. The range of emotions that people are experiencing means that when we come out the other side of this we will be different people. It will require some time for us to process.

I think the most important and therapeutic thing we can do right now is just hang in with what we are feeling, when we are feeling it. While it is tempting to think into the future and what will happen when this is all over, the truth is, we don’t know, and we won’t know, the future until it happens. The best thing we can do for our self is to work through our anxiety, doing what we need to do, being gentle with our self, and let the future unroll as it will – no predictions, just trust and faith that, as Julian of Norwich said, “All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.”